


A Promise, A Swear, An Apology, A Love Song

by Featherfur



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, I know he's Nekoma's favorite disaster Bi, I swear I will write an actual Kuroyakuken thing one day, It's probably the most painful thing I've ever written but... Kuroo is straight in this one, Kissing, M/M, One sided Kuroo Tetsuro/Yaku Morisuke, One-Sided Kuroo Tetsuro/Kozume Kenma, but for now it's just angst, but its how it came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 03:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21237296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherfur/pseuds/Featherfur
Summary: Kenma's always loved two people and he knew he'd never have a chance with either. But when Kuroo's new life pulls him too far away Kenma leans on the only other person he trusts, Yaku. He never thought his feelings would be returned, especially when they both had feelings for Kuroo.





	A Promise, A Swear, An Apology, A Love Song

“What do you think of soulmates?” The words barely reached Kenma’s ears, whispered quietly with an undertone of longing. It only took a glance through a curtain of blonde hair to look at his companion.

Soft brown hair was mussed from fingers dragging through it worriedly. Sharp eyes normally alight with fire and joy were softened with heartbreak and confusion. Mori looked terrible, staring at something in his hands. A jacket. A horrible familiar jacket.

Kenma wet his lips with his tongue. Once. Twice. Then three more times before he opened his mouth. 

And closed it again.

His eyes were trained on the jacket, the hand fisted in it and the man curled around it like a lifesaver. Kuro’s jacket. Once upon a time it had been a great comfort to Kenma, happily wrapped around him by an overprotective best friend anytime Kenma shivered. Then they grew up. They went to college and something changed.

Kenma hadn’t seen the jacket in maybe four months. Asking about it had led to Kuro’s shrugging and muttering about a girlfriend. Yet here it was again, causing pain to more than just one person this time.

Kenma wanted to ask what he’s doing with it. Wanted to take it and burn it and leave the ashes on Kuro’s pillow. He wanted to pull it on and remember when he was 16 and he was his best friend’s whole world. When Kuro was always by his side. When his heart didn’t feel seconds away from cracking open and bleeding his feelings out.

Kuro had made sure Kenma had other friends. Kenma loved them, he did. Tora was always fun and Shohei was always there for a cry or laugh. Lev was absolutely annoying, but he was steady and never forgot Kenma in a corner. Inouka and Shibiyama were bright, confused about so many things but always willing to do anything to give Kenma half a smile. Tamahiko called every other day, sometimes for half a minute, sometimes for hours just to chatter and relieve stress because Kenma likes to listen. Kai was sweet and called once a month, stopping by with sweets and dinner every now and then and bringing a sense of peace Kenma is always afraid he’ll lose. 

Mori... oh, Mori. Mori who rushed over when Kenma called, shattered from Kuro deciding to abandon him on their anniversary. The day he and Kuro met, the day that Kuro had forced them to celebrate for 15 goddamn years. Mori who was as steady as Kuro, on court and off.

Even when Kenma felt Kuro pulling away he thought he would still have Morisuke. Still have the senpai who looked out for him as much as Kuro, who learned how to play video games just so Kenma had something to talk about. He thought Mori, sweet Mori who hugged him like he never wanted to lose him and stroked his hair like it was precious, would never leave him. Mori, the one who always seemed to know him as well as Kuro. Who would tease him about being a loner but never minded sitting with him in silence or letting Kenma nap on him while the rowdier members of the team partied. If Kenma didn’t have Kuro at his back, didn’t have him to lean on, he thought he would still have Mori.

Yet, here Mori was. Staring longingly at a worn black jacket like it could heal a broken heart. Like it’s owner might walk through the door and make everything alright.

Kenma wondered why he hadn’t seen it. Why he never noticed that Mori had fallen so badly for Kuro. Then he wondered if he’d just pretended not to notice, thinking if he could ignore it then at least Kenma could have one of them.

“What.... do you want me to say?” Kenma finally murmured, letting his eyes fall down to the DS in his grip. He didn’t want to play video games, he didn’t want to think. He wanted to lie down and forget he existed and sleep until he rot.

“God I don’t know... that I’m stupid. That I’m so fucking stupid and soul mates aren’t real and I’m ridiculous.” Mori said, voice cracking before he balled up the jacket and threw it across the room. “I’m so fucking stupid. I... I’m not a fucking girlfriend he can hand his jacket too and I’ll forgive him. I’m not a fucking dog waiting for an ounce of attention and I... I... gods I hate him.”

Kenma’s heart started a dance. Dropping and lifting to a rhythm he never wanted to remember again. It danced to a song of pain and hope, and he wanted it gone.

“I’m sorry-“

“Don’t be.” Kenma couldn’t help himself, cutting Mori off. Mori didn’t apologize, he was stubborn and proud and it felt wrong to take an apology from him. 

“Kenma.” Kenna’s heart ached, pain clawing at his throat at the sound of his name from Morisuke’s lips. “Kenma.”

It whispered through the air like a promise, a swear, an apology, and a love song all at once. The air choked Kenma and tried to wipe his mind of a certain black haired idiot. Kenma fought it, but halfheartedly.

Oh to be free of that pain. To forget the heartbreak and only need a friend. To not feel forgotten or abandoned, unwanted and unloved. It was a poem that Kenma wanted to live through, breathe the fresh air at the end and fall apart to the words.

It wouldn’t be though. Mori didn’t love him, not like that. He was a burden at best, a pet at worse.

He didn’t sense it coming until it was too late, almost melting without a thought. The gentle fingers that caressed his cheek and turned his head to look at Mori again. They were like fire and ice, turning his heart into a flame and cooling his skin and making him shudder.

“Kenma.” There went his name again, purred like a story told in one word. Again and again his name fell from Mori’s lips until finally Kenma couldn’t take it anymore. He looked up, meeting those brown eyes that stared into your soul. Eyes that fanned the flame of fear in enemies and stoked the fire of confidence in friends. Today though. Today they just hurt.

“Kenma. I’m sorry.” Morisuke murmured, meeting his gaze steadily. Taking in the pained golden eyes, the hiccup of breath, even the shiver of pain under his fingertips.

“I’m stupid.” Kenma whispered. He couldn’t lie. He’d known since he was a child. Kuro would never love him. Not like he wanted. Not like Mori wanted. Kuro wasn’t like them, didn’t see them the way they saw him. He’d known since they were in middle school. When Kenma’s eyes drifted to the boys and Kuro’s refused to be shifted from the girls.

“You’re not-“

“We’re both stupid.” Kenma wondered when Mori had realized Kenma loved Kuro. Had he always known? Had he seen the way Kenma picked apart his best friend and held him close and zealously. The way he pulled at Kuro’s attention whenever a pretty girl got too close.

Morisuke let out a snort, the first sound of amusement that Kenma had heard in hours. His eyes were glittering with so many emotions Kenma was sure he could drown in them. Yet he couldn’t turn away, not right now. Not when Mori’s hand had started to stroke his cheek with his thumb, a quiet but intimate move. Kenma wanted to cry or bury his face in Mori’s chest. He wanted to be held for hours and not think about feelings or pain or that he would spend his days alone now. 

“I’m pretty sure I’m stupider than you.” Mori teased and Kenma let out a hum. Curiosity curled in his chest but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“I mean... Who falls in love with a guy they know is straight? Then falls for another who-....” The words confused Kenma for a second, before Mori’s eyes fluttered shut as he cut himself off. Kenma took the chance, looking down but unable to bring himself to pull away from the touch.

It was selfish. He knew. It was wrong to let Mori hold him like this when Mori didn't know how Kenma’s heart, Kenma’s soul, was begging for him. Begging for a chance with him.

He knew he’d never not love Kuro. Kuro was his best friend, his partner, his backbone. That love would never be gone but that didn’t mean the other wasn’t there.

That didn’t mean he didn’t love Mori, so completely enamored. Kenma was entranced with Mori’s heart, his pride, his strength, his intelligence. Everything that made Mori so vibrant and so him.

“I fell for a straight guy.” Kenma managed to push out. He ignored the roughness of his voice, the way it creaked even with simple words. The thumb started it’s stroking again, tugging for a second before relaxing. Like Mori wanted to pull him close but chose not to.

Kenma wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive that without spilling.

“You didn’t know he was straight when you met him.” Mori murmured so close that Kenma freezed. He can just feel the touch of warm breathe on his ear before Mori’s forehead is on his. Their temples just leaning against each other, cheeks only a few centimeters away from pressed together. Kenma wanted to kiss him.

He almost pulled away as the thought hit him. Something kept him there though. Heartache perhaps, hope maybe, or even just the soft comfort of a friend. Mori would never return his feelings, but he wouldn’t turn away either. Wouldn’t bring people around who looked down on Kenma and whispered that he made them uncomfortable.

“.... Soulmates are a ridiculous idea.” Kenma murmured when the silence gets to be too much. He wanted to defend himself, defend Mori. They hadn’t known Kuro would never look at them like that, things changed, people did too. They hadn’t planned to fall for someone who chased too many skirts and fell for all the wrong people. They hadn’t planned to be the ones cancelled on always, the ones left at the bar waiting, the ones dialing constantly praying he was alive just away from his phone.

“They really are.” Mori agreed, but his voice cracked and turned into a near hiss. The words ghosted over Kenma’s skin and he wished they were any other words.

“Relationships aren’t chosen. They take work... they suck.” Kenma grumbled and Mori let out a laugh. For a second, everything was okay. Kenma’s own lips twitched up and their eyes met, and they were gone from the world. They were alone together, smiling and happy, not curled up on an old couch heartbroken and shattered.

“I guess they do. At least for us.” The moment broke and Kenma let his gaze fall away again. He pretended he couldn’t feel the sigh against his lips, couldn’t sense those piercing eyes looking at him begging him for something. For what, he didn’t know.

“I... I’m stupid... anyone who knew Kuro... could tell he would never want me like that... now he barely wants me at all.” Kenma confessed, both of them flinched at the name they’d been avoiding all night.

“His loss.” Mori murmured, stroking his cheek and for a second so slight Kenma thought he might have imagined it. A gentle brush of lips against his temple. Imaginary or not, something let go in his chest and he sobbed.

Mori pulled him close, pulled him onto his lap without a thought. Warm, strong, muscled arms wrapped around and held him tight. So strong that Kenma thought he might break, but so welcoming and loving that Kenma broke in a completely different way.

Kenma couldn’t say how long he cried into Mori’s chest. How long Mori held him and stroked his back. How long he crooned and purred comforting words of nonsense before Kenma finally had the strength to pull away.

He didn’t make it far. The sight of Mori’s own tears, glistening against soft skin and pained eyes, was enough to drive Kenma back into his arms holding tightly.

“I’m sorry.” Kenma managed to gasp out. He shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be holding on so close when he needs to move on. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to push you-“

“Kenma, sweetheart, it’s okay.” Mori murmured against his hair and Kenma bit back another cry. Another sob that would break both of them again. He didn’t want to though. He wanted to cry and cry, scream and fight, yell until he was hoarse. Beg someone to take care of him just for a few minutes, just for a few seconds where he didn’t have to be in control or watching or-

“I’m here, Kenma. It’s okay. I’m always going to be here.” Mori’s words were sweet but Kenma hurt. He sobbed and shook his head, blinking away tears before they were too much and he buried his face in Mori’s neck.

“When are you going to leave me too?” He cried out, pain rocketing through him. How much longer did he have? If Kuro could leave him, why would anyone else stay?

“Never Kenma. I’m never going to leave you.” Mori whispered into his ear. “Kenma.” 

There was his name again. Said like a promise, like a swear, an apology, a love song.

“How can you say that? Kuro left, kuro’s always been there and now he’s gone-“

“Kuroo doesn’t love you like I do.” Kenma thought he shorted out for a moment. Felt the brush of words against his skin, the heartbreak of false words rattling in his chest before Mori froze under him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that- I shouldn’t have said that, you’re hurting-“ The words tripped over themselves but Kenma didn’t bear them any mind. He held Mori tighter, not wanting him to leave. Even if it was a lie, Kenma still wanted his friend.

“Is that true?” He whispered back. For a second, silence. Then Mori pulled back, not all the way, just enough to cup Kenna’s face with both hands. He tilted his head, brilliant eyes filled with affection and fondness, lit up with pain and tears.

“Kenma.” The voice was filled with so much affection Kenma almost broke again. “I told you I was stupid.”

“Why?” Kenma barely felt the words leave his mouth. Barely felt anything but his heart beat drumming to a new rhythm and Mori’s hands on his face. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Mori’s, didn’t even want to.

“Because I fell in love with a straight man.... and with his best friend who was in love with him.” Mori murmured, eyes shutting briefly in guilt. “Kenma-“ 

There was his name, one more time like a promise, like a swear, an apology, a love song. The way Kenma had never thought Mori would say it.

He kissed away the apology, feeling Mori’s surprise and confusion about the brush of lips. He kissed him again, a little deeper, a little harder.

“Mori.” He murmured, like a promise, like a swear, an apology, a love story. “Morisuke. I love Kuro. But I love you too.”

“Don’t just say that because he’s-“

“I’ll say it tomorrow. The next day. The day after. Ask Tora or Shou, they’ve known for years how I felt about you.” He murmured, staring at him. Gold into brown. Mori’s eyes were still filled with pain, but slowly hope was overtaking it. The gentle fingers caressed his skin, affection in every brush.

“I...”

Kenma leaned in when Mori didn’t continue, pressed their noses together and laughed when Mori snorted. It was quiet and short. But it was a laugh.

“Promise you won’t leave.” They murmured together, burying themselves in each other’s arms.

Kenma wasn’t sure when he drifted off, but he knew it was to a quiet murmur of his name. Whispered on the win like a promise, a love song, a declaration, and a love story.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh this is probably horrible and like no one will ever read it but whatever.  
Can't believe I made Kuroo straight.  
Sorry Kenma, sorry Mori.  
Is Yaku out of character??? I feel like he is, a jeez.


End file.
